Sword and Sorcery
by Irksome Productions
Summary: Take a generic fantasy setting, add one part Naruto characters and one part plot. Mix well, and here you go. Updated, finally...
1. Chapter 1

**Irksome Productions Presents**

Another Irksome Production

By

Irksome Productions

**Sword and Sorcery**

Opening Act

Part I; The Unknown Horseman

Disclaimer: Though the plot may be my own, the main characters are not. This, combined with the fact that you're on _!_,means that own nothing, save the plot, several generic OCs, and waaayyyy too much time. Oh, and plenty of stuff to give me plot ideas...

**Opening**

It was raining. Hard.

To elaborate, it was raining at night, on a dark, dirt road through a forest. Very hard.

On the side of the road, a gutted carriage sat, with two men looking over it.

"Are you sure this one is the right one?" One asked, prodding a piece of wood with a sword.

"Yes." The other, who was wearing elaborate robes, with a pattern of clouds on them, replied, disdain clearly visible on his face.

"Because it doesn't look like she's here..."

"Silence. I shall give you until tomorrow morning to find her. If you fail, your lives are forfeit."

"Alright, alright. I'll find the girl, and I'll take her to you. Where do you-" The first man, who was wearing leather armor, started.

"I shall know! Now, I take my leave." The robed man exclaimed, before vanishing in a cloud of smoke.

"Damn wizards and their egos..." The man muttered, before shouting "Hey, Lej! You find her yet?"

"Not yet. I think she may have gone into the woods."

"Go find her. We need to get her before tomorrow."

"Alright, boss."

**An hour later**

The man who had been standing in front of the ruined carriage was holding onto the legs of a body, another man grasping the shoulders.

"She's lighter than expected."

"What, you thought a princess would be fat?"

"Of course. She's probably never missed a meal or done anything more straining than lifting a fork!"

"What about what she did to Ken?"

"That was magic. It doesn't count."

"If you say so..."

The two men continued carrying the person, now known to be a princess, towards the road.

"Now all we have to do is- What's that?" Lej asked, letting a shoulder slip from his grasp as he pointed down the road.

There was a horse, with a person riding on it, moving at a good speed. The person, a man from the appearance, was wearing a suit of chainmail, with a sword at his side. He also wore a tabard of some sort, though the lighting was too poor to tell the color of the symbol on it.

"I don't know, but we'd better hide this." The apparent leader said, motioning at the person the two people were holding onto. "Let's dump her in the bushes."

"Alright." The other replied.

The two men set down the female they were carrying in the bushes, quickly moving away.

"Hail!" The mounted person said, as soon as he got close enough. "Which way is the kingdom of..."

"Of what, sir knight?"

"That owns the coach that is tipped on its side there..."

"Oh, that? We were merely trying to trap some rabbits when we came upon it. From what I can tell, the passengers walked off after it flipped."

There was a moan from nearby, like someone waking up after being thrown into the bushes.

"What was that?"

"What, sir knight?"

"That moan. It sounded like someone in pain."

"I heard nothing, sir knight."

"Never mind, then. Tell me your names."

"Lej, of Leaf."

"Ris, also of Leaf. Might we have you name, sir knight?"

"I can't really stop right now for pleasantries. I've got to get to the next kingdom over as soon as possible to deliver a message."

"We understand, sir knight. We wish you good fortunes on your quest."

"I'll need it." The mounted person said, before prodding his horse so it trotted away.

"What an idiot."

"Knights aren't trained to be smart. They're trained to follow orders."

"Point. Now, go give her a good knock on the head. She's waking up."

"Alright."

Lej walked over to the bushes where the unknown girl had been thrown.

There was a thud, and a grunt.

"Alright, she's out again."

"Good. Let's get going."

There was the sound of galloping hooves.

"Another one? Leave her in the bushes." Ris said, motioning for Lej to hurry out of the bushes.

A horse, the same one as before, trotted up, without its rider.

"What luck! We've got another horse now, Lej!"

"What?"

"That knight must have been fallen off further down the road. His horse ran away."

"Lucky!"

There was a rustling in the bushes.

"Damn it. A monster now..."

"Where our next paycheck is, too. Let's go kill it now."

"Alright."

Both men drew longswords, and moved slowly towards the bushes where the girl had been dropped.

Beating away the bushes, they saw...

Just the unconscious girl with a large branch next to her.

"Where's the monster? Wasn't there supposed to be a-" Lej started, only to have a hand and a half sword cleave through his throat as the knight from before jumped down from a tree.

The head fell off, landing with a thud on the ground.

"So, mister Ris of Leaf, why are you kidnapping one of our allies' princesses? Money?" The knight asked, pointing his sword at Ris, who was looking like he might throw up. "Or something more sinister?"

"Mon-money."

"Who hired you?"

"I can't tell you."

The knight moved his sword to Ris' neck, drawing blood.

"If I talk, I'll be killed!"

"If you don't talk, you'll be killed. You just have to choose which way is the least painful."

"I'll take steel over spell. You'll get nothing out of me, royal scum."

"Pity."

There was a swishing sound, and Ris was headless.

"Now, why are you out this far? I thought you usually stayed in the castle. Unless..." The chainmail wearing person mused, looking at the unconscious girl before picking her up.

"Oh well. I guess I'll have to set up camp somewhere."

**Author's Notes:** Ah, the fresh feeling of a new story. If you're wondering about why, exactly, this is here, in the Naruto section, it's because it, like the usual type of stories I write, is an AU. And that sentence had way to many commas in it.

Completely original universe, in this case, save for most characters. And I've got a terrible, terrible joke already set up for later, and next chapter I'll make it so you can search for it by main characters. Though I suspect you may be able to guess who they are now...

_Boss! We've got a situation over in the Dark Hero section! The Omakes are loose and trying to kill the OCs!_

Excuse me. Homac, lock down the area. Then use the standard procedure.

_Yes, sir._

Sorry about that. Apparently my spare Omakes are breaking loose over in my other story.

Maybe I'll find a use for them some time...

Anyway, this came about due to an evil plot bunny that managed to get a Sneak Attack in on me...

Don't forget to...

_**Read and Review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Preface: **Ah, the good old tactic of writing a preface. I... handled the situation concerning my primary story and Omakes.

On to this second chapter of 'Sword and Sorcery', which will be... interesting to write...

Sword and Sorcery

Opening Act

Part II; The Attack

_In which_: We learn the main characters' names and meet a supporting character.

But not in that order.

Oh, and a town gets attacked.

**Camp, Morning**

There was a moan, like someone waking up after being hit in the back of the head with a cosh twice over the course of one night.

It was still raining, but the apparent princess and her rescuer were in a small sheltered area.

"Oh, you're awake!" The chainmail wearing man from last chapter said, looking up from where he was poking in a cooking pot on a fire. "So why were you out here?"

"W-what? OH! We I-I was sent to ask for r-reinforcements by my father. Our countries being attacked by these-" The girl who had been knocked out repeatedly the previous evening started.

"Soldiers carrying the symbol of the Dawn?"

"Y-yes..."

"Damn it. We're under attack by them too. I was sent to ask for reinforcements too. My dad said to go and... Wait a second..."

"W-what?"

"That old jerk! He intentionally made sure I'd be out of the battle! He sent me on this mission because he knew they were going to arrive soon!"

"W-who?"

"He sent me out here, despite how we're low on troops, so that I would be almost to your kingdom when they arrived! He's trying to keep me from getting hurt! It's insulting."

"W-wait..."

"Yours did the same thing?"

"Y-yes... T-they know I'm a good m-mage, but they s-sent me to request assistance f-from your family, s-so I would be j-just approaching Spiral Keep as the invaders arrived at our castle..."

"Well, neither of us can get back in time, thanks to their planning... Was that your carriage on the road?"

"Y-yes. I w-was attacked by this m-mage wearing..."

"Wearing what?"

"R-robes with the Dawn's symbol o-on them... H-he killed my g-guards easily..."

"Alright, here's the plan. You'll stay with me, and we head towards the nearest allied kingdom and inform them of these developments."

"B-but what about-"

"We can't deliver our messages now. The Dawn has probably already started their attack. Even if we could, it wouldn't do much good anyway. A mage and a knight against thirty thousand soldiers? We'd die before killing ten of them. Besides, there's a safe haven nearby. I hope..."

The knight set to pack up the small camp, before realizing something he forgot to mention.

"Oh, and now its six to five, my favor."

"W-what? Oh, t-that..."

**An Hour Later, Down the Road**

"S-so is this i-it?" The girl asked, looking at the small village in front of her from the back of the horse she took from her carriage.

The rain had stopped, so now we can describe the main characters.

The girl was blue haired, and wearing a completely soaked set of robes, suitable for mages and martial artists alike.

The knight was blond, and his completely soaked tabard was... Orange, with a spiral pattern on it.

No surprises there, huh?

"Yep. This is where I was told to go if things went sour. Glad to see that it's still hidden." The knight replied, glancing behind himself briefly, while keeping his horse in place.

"I-I was asking because I-I was told to come here i-if anything went wrong, too..."

"...It's like they were trying to give us a decent chance of meeting each other..."

"W-what?"

"Remember back when I was taken to your family's castle the first time?"

"Y-yes..."

"I remember reading a treaty of some sort on the ride over... Now that I think about it, it was probably the reason this town is here."

"W-what?"

"I mean that they were obviously planning ahead in case of anything like this. Think about it. 'If our castle is under attack, go ask our neighbors for aid. If they're under attack, go hide in the village on the border.' my father said. Yours probably said something similar, right? Doesn't that sound like this place was made for us to meet up in, and then do something?"

"M-maybe gather t-troops and take b-back our kingdoms?"

"Maybe. Anyway, we should head in. The tavern 'The Fair Deal' should have a couple of rooms empty..."

**Back Down the Road**

"Well," The mage from last chapter said, nudging the corpse of Lej with his foot. "I guess I'll need more minions for this..."

"Sir." A person wearing chainmail started, walking up to the robed mage. "Our trackers have found tracks going into the woods, to a small, covered camp. Then the tracks head off in a different direction. Shall we follow them?"

"Yes. I need to get that mage now, before He finds out..."

The mage paused for a second.

"And I want them alive, if at all reasonably possible."

"Yes, sir."

**Down the Road, Town, The Fair Deal**

The tavern was nearly empty, the only people still in it being the innkeeper and a black haired man sitting at the end stool of the bar, a large number of empty glasses in front of him.

"Barkeep," The knight started, reaching for a pouch on his side. "This medallion should verify my identity. I'll need two rooms."

"Right away, your Highness. I assume that the girl is with you?"

"She is, but she's in the same boat I am..."

"Ah. Three royals in one night." The innkeeper said, nodding sagely. "The times are bad..."

"T-three?"

"The man in the corner. He apparently was fairly close to getting his kingdom's throne, but was exiled a few days ago for a disagreement with an advisor."

"Who is he?"

"He gave no name, just gold."

"Hm... Well, I guess he probably doesn't matter. Thank you."

"It's an honor to be the choice tavern of royalty, your Highness. I am the one who should be thanking you."

"Sho theresh shom more peoplesh in the shame short of boat ash I am...." The black haired man in the corner slurred to himself.

"More drinksh, barkeep!" He yelled, louder than most non-drunk would consider appropriate.

"Haven't you had enough?"

"More drinksh!"

**The next day, outside of town**

A small troop of soldiers walked towards the town, the mage from before riding behind them and grinning. By small troop the author mean thirty men, each armed to the teeth.

"Alright, you maggots. I want you to burn this place. Slaughter everyone you find, except for the girl we're after and anyone else who's worth enough for us to spare them temporarily." The mage said to the infantry, the gleeful smile not leaving his face

"Yes, sir!" The troops replied in sync.

"Good little minions. Now, go kill something."

The troops charged into the town, drawing weapons.

**The Fair Deal, Downstairs**

"...So then I just decapitated the one who had kept knocking you out, and then took out the other one just as quick." The blond knight finished, setting down a drink at the table he and the blue haired girl were sitting at.

"B-but isn't that a b-bit excessive, N-Naruto? I-I mean, they only knocked m-me out..."

"...They injured you, Hinata. They deserved it..."

"B-but-"

The conversation was cut off by screams of terror and pain from outside.

The two shared a look.

"I-I'm at full magic."

"I've got my sword."

"T-then what are we w-waiting for?"

The two jumped up and rushed out the tavern door, the blond drawing his sword while the bluenette muttered an incantation under her breath.

**Author's Notes: **Chapter two, done. Review this thing, people. If you like it, tell me. If not... tell me. I need to know what's wrong with this tale.

And yes, I may draw some, _some_ plot points from the series of video games that (almost) all start with displaced lords and such. It's inevitable for me to use those as inspiration, you know.

And I suppose that you might wonder exactly who the drunk guy is.

I'll just give you a little bit of info about his past here.

He was exiled from his home kingdom because he _didn't_ think that everyone from there was far superior to everyone else, and he opposed their... 'Benevolent' plan to aid everyone who was too stupid to see it by taking over their nations.

And, in this universe, I've turned him and his kin into elves.

You can now easily guess who he is, right?

_Yeah, he's the weas-_

NO SPOILERS!

_...It was just a joke... Besides, in one story of yours, he's a good guy, and in another, he's the bad guy...What's he going to be in this one? The drunken elf?_

...Review, people. Review...


	3. Chapter 3

**Preface:** You know, I only really need either this or the 'In which:' part at the start...

And you are correct on both counts, kb. Completely correct.

Sword and Sorcery

Opening Act

Part III; What did _you_ expect?

_In which:_ A bad guy realizes that not everyone who uses magic dresses like a mage, and suddenly gets his face handed to him.

And the entirety of the Uchiha clan is cast as elves, due to their arrogance and inferiority superlex.

**Town, Outside, Ten Minutes After Last Chapter's End**

There were three dead soldiers lying on the ground, one with a pair of slash marks in his chest, the other two burned.

And Naruto and Hinata were bound, a pair of guards standing on either side of them as the mage cackled hysterically.

Naruto had been tied up in the standard manner, his hands behind his back, and his sword three feet out of his reach.

Hinata, though, was gagged, with her hands secured far enough apart that she couldn't, say, perform the somatic components for a fire spell.

"So _you_ were the one who killed those brigands! How humorous!" The mage said, after he managed to stop laughing. "You don't look so tough now, 'your Highness'."

"What are you after?" Naruto yelled indignantly as he struggled to break the ropes holding his hands behind his back.

"Oh not much. Just securing my master's interests, and eliminating any who might be able to oppose him." The mage replied, before turning around to have a monologue. "You see, my lord has decided to spread his beneficial rule to the rest of the lands around him. In this wonderful act, he sent forth minions to raise a rebellion against all lords, save himself."

The guards next to Naruto and Hinata dozed off during the start of the rant, and didn't notice that Naruto's ropes had been burned through, a fatal mistake.

"As I am one of his greater followers, I was given control of a faction to direct towards wherever I pleased, provided I find enough mages to power his newest device. So I searched for my target, aiming for the countries with the greatest mage count, and I found that each of your countries had a decent number of mages."

Now Hinata was unbound, thanks to a small fire spell aimed at her bindings, and she had taken the gag out of her mouth.

"So I directed an army to each country, giving them the orders to spare as many mages as possible for powering the device. And then you two rode away from your homes, presumably to meet and request reinforcements."

Now all four guards had been... dealt with, and Hinata was muttering an incantation under her breath.

"And here we are! At this small town, where... I... captured...you." The mage turned back around while speaking, to see a most certainly not captured mage chanting, while pointing her hands towards him. Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

"_Hevbajnois, rniun, thkeunon!_" Hinata finished her chant, before a glowing blue wave burst from her hand and struck the mage.

"Oh, cra-" Were the last syllables of the mage, as he turned to ice, now...frozen, pardon the pun, mid-sentence.

"That's new." Naruto said, fading into the foreground.

"U-um, I f-found it in my f-families libraries, hidden b-behind several layers of dust. I-It's nothing special..." The bluenette responded, blushing.

There was the sound of someone clapping slowly.

"Bravo, bravo." The man who had been in the inn said, walking past a pair of smoking corpses with a slight swagger in his step. "I've never seen anyone make that sort of escape in that short o time before."

"Who are you?"

"The name- given, seeing as I was banished- is Itachi. Originally Itachi Uchiha, but, due to circumstances, it is no longer."

"W-wait, Uchiha? Isn't that t-the ruling f-family of Pyros?"

"Indeed it is."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I said no to the plan to annex everything and take over the world."

"...Surely you jest."

"I'm quite serious. They banished me, and I found my way here. Seeing as you two will need to topple them to reclaim your respective kingdoms..."

"W-what?"

"I offer you my aid, provided you help me bring sense back to my nation's leader."

"...Alright, but any funny business..."

"I completely understand. Now, I suggest that we leave as soon as we can. I know for a fact that every single lieutenant in Pyros' military has been told to say that they're in charge of the current garrison, regardless of if they actually are, which means there are probably more troops around here."

"Good idea. What do you have in terms of equipment?"

"Enough for one to travel with for a week, assuming that he hunts." Itachi said, a smirk forming on his face. "And, of course, my bow."

"What bow?" Naruto replied, looking at Itachi like he was insane. "I don't see one."

"That would be due to a certain charm that I had laid upon it." The black haired apparent mage responded, holding up a small charm of an elaborate bow.

"So, shall we proceed?"

**Author's Notes:** Sorry for the short chapter, but I couldn't think of anything else to put in this one. I know, less than a thousand words with preface and author's notes, but still, interesting stuff happened in it. Now, _**REVIEW**_, because I need it to help with the next chapters...


	4. Chapter 4

**Preface:** And another chapter is up. w00t.

Also, in the universe that this is set in, magic is mostly internally focused, so few people can use it. It's made external through use of verbal and somatic components, which vary by the caster. The appearance of the spell also varies by caster, so one person's, say, pure energy attack spell could take the form of a sphere, while another's could take the form of a lion's head.

That means that, in this universe, just hearing someone cast a spell and watching the effect wouldn't make you able to replicate it with ease. You'd have to customize the verbal component first, then ingrain it in your mind and channel power to it while imagining the desired effect, before it became _relatively_ easy to do on a whim.

And, of course, there are some hax abilities that make spell replication easy.

Complex, yes, but I feel that it needs explaining, seeing as most of the characters will have at least minor skill in matters eldritch.

Oh, and Itachi is probably going to end up seeming like a munchkin in this story. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up...

* * *

Sword and Sorcery

Act I

Part I: Wait, those three chapters were the _prologue_? How troublesome.

_In which:_ A fight occurs, more allies appear, and Itachi acts like a Munchkin. Seriously.

* * *

**Near A Small Mountain Village**

There was a battle going on. Naruto was currently fighting several infantrymen in melee, with Hinata maintaining a fair distance and pelting the enemy with spells and Itachi... Well, he had run off after shooting several people in the face, causing roughly a third of the remaining soldiers to pursue him.

"So, how come you guys keep showing up where we happen to be?" Naruto asked as he parried a thrust from an unnamed soldier.

"We're minions. We're just going where the boss tells us to." The mook said, leaping back a step.

"So that's why? _Pyr_!" Naruto retorted, swinging his sword with both hands. An arc of flame flew from the blade, hitting the mook in the chest and making his life expectancy... vanish.

"Who's next?" Naruto said, turning away from the scorched corpse to look at the other four mooks that were behind him.

* * *

**Nearby**

One set of eyes was visible over drawn curtains in a tavern, watching the current conflict.

Inside, a black haired man was muttering small comments, like 'Those two should have made a classic warrior-mage swap...' and similar, whilst peeking through the curtains.

"HEY!" A slightly shrill, annoyed sounding female voice yelled, before a piece of wood hit the black haired man on the back of the head. "What are you doing? Slacking again?"

"No." The man replied, before shifting the curtain so that the woman who hit him on the back of the head could see. "I was watching the fight and trying to see who has the advantage. It looks like the outnumbered side will lose in a few minutes, unless they get help."

"So? It isn't our problem."

"Actually, the currently losing side happens to be defending the town. If they lose, then it'll become part of Pyros."

"Like hell it will! Get your weapons. We're going to help."

"Meh. Not like it's _our_ problem."

There was a thwap, like another impact from the piece of wood.

"Troublesome woman..." The man muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

"Get your weapons. And I heard that."

"Fine."

* * *

**Forest**

"Where the hell did that guy go?" A minion asked, looking around at the surprisingly empty clearing.

"That's what I-ugh." A second one started, only to have an arrow sprout from his neck.

"Where did that come from?" A third of the ten who had been alive in the clearing at the beginning of this segment asked, looking around nervously.

"Whirlwind of Arrows." A voice said from somewhere in the surrounding forest, followed by a rustling noise from all around.

Arrows peppered the minions, making them more akin to pincushions than humans.

"Well, that was easy." Itachi said, jumping out of a tree, an ornate bow in his hands.

It looked to be one piece of wood, carefully sung from the tree it originated from and polished to a high sheen. On both places where the string connected, a gold cap was glimmering.

It also seemed to be shrinking rapidly, turning into a small charm.

Reattaching his bow to his bracelet, Itachi eyed the bodies.

"Hm... To loot or not to loot..." He muttered, looking towards the sounds of battle.

After a minute of contemplation, he looked back down to the bodies.

"Eh, why not?" He said, reaching for a knife on his belt.

"Let's see, the odds are that at least _one_ of them consumed something valuable..."

* * *

**Back at the Town**

Currently, Hinata was chanting a spell while Naruto was doing the proper job for a fighter in the company of a mage- meatshielding.

"Could you hurry up a bit? I'm kinda being overwhelmed here..."

"_Hei ronun thesta._ T-this one t-takes time to c-cast. _Nijjru uhrn tuhikr..."_

"Well, hurry u-" Naruto was cut off as he heard a single syllable spoken.

"_Cyc!_" A female voice said as a huge burst of wind hit half of the mooks attacking the current duo.

"Just as planned...." A more subdued and quiet, male voice said, as a few shapes moved through the air.

The remaining guards stopped, caught by numerous wires that were attached to exceptionally aerodynamic knives.

As the dust cleared, a pair of humanoid shapes could be seen, posing as though one was ordered to do it.

"Behold!" The female voice said, as one figure clacked a huge fan out behind the two. "The powerful team of wind and shadow."

"...Yeah, this is too troublesome. Can I quit now?

There was a loud thud, like a lazy person being hit on the head with a giant fan.

"Ow. Troublesome woman."

"Shut up, Shikamaru." The woman responded, her fan coming into contact with the man's head again.

"As you may have guessed, name's Shikamaru. The troublesome woman beside me is Temari."

Another thunk noise.

"Ow. You _are_ troublesome."'

* * *

**Pryos, Capital **

"You know, mi'lord, if you focused on refining the fire's shape you could master it. Maybe you should think about letting it take the shape it wants to." An orange masked man said, watching a person about the same age as the main characters practice a huge fire spell. He, the masked one, was wearing a motley outfit, complete with a fool's cap.

"Silence, Tobi. This is difficult without your inane gibbering." The young man, who looked eerily similar to Itachi, replied, not even looking at the masked clown.

"Just a thought, mi'lord."

"I don't care what you think. You're the jester, and have no magical talent what so ever."

"Yes, mi'lord. And, mi'lord?"

"What, you buffoon?"

"The person you sent that weak mage for..."

"...She escaped, didn't she?"

"Yes, mi'lord. She apparently had the help of your old friend, your final target..."

"What?"

"You heard me correctly, mi'lord."

"Well, then, this makes things much, much easier."

* * *

**Back at the Town**

"Wait, don't I know you...?" Naruto asked, looking at the newcomers.

"Hm? Naruto?"

"Yeah! You're the son of that strategist that worked with my father! What are you doing out here?"

"Lying low. We _thought_ that this place wouldn't have any fights going on, but no, you had to bring one here..."

"This idiot was hired to be a bodyguard! Fat lot of help he is! All he's good for is staring at the sky!" The blonde woman exclaimed, her giant fan making contact with the back of Shikamaru's head.

Again.

"Hello," Itachi said, walking up while wiping blood off his hands and acouple of small gemstones. "Did I miss anything?"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Ah, finally done with chapter 1.

After my minor sabbatical (completely unintentional, of course), I had difficulty getting my mind back to writing...

And I've run low on energy, for some reason.

Fear not, for Act I, Part II will be up quicker than this!

I hope...

Maybe a review or twelve would make me motivated...


End file.
